26 Week Stats

Baby Size: Roughly 14 inches long now and gaining weight steadily. Peter is hoping for a chunky baby so grow fat, grow!

Mama Size: Up 16 pounds. My belly is measuring 36 inches around its largest part

Symptoms: Menstrual-like cramps every day--dr told me it was just my uterus stretching. Still freaked us out a little one night when I had an hour of uninterrupted cramping. Oh and I am now sporting a very faint linea nigra. Of all the changes to my body, I think the changing skin is what surprises me the most.

Also experiencing so much heartburn that I am constantly popping Tums. At least this means our baby will come out with a head full of hair, right? :)

Other updates: We picked out the paint for the baby room and will start that some time in January. We also went to a kid's consignment store for the first time and I was pleasantly surprised at the stuff we could get inexpensively. We bought one of those infant car seat adapters and a car pad to protect Peter's leather seats from the car seat. I had wanted to buy a Moses basket but the closest they had were some swings. I decided to do some research before buying one, especially a used one.

Question of the week: Did you use a swing? Happiest Baby on the Block recommends one but I am really on the fence.

26 Weeks

Dear Baby,

Your father starts a new job in two weeks and sadly, it is not the one in LA. We could have had a fun adventure out in California but it would have meant you would have never seen him except in the mornings. Instead, he accepted a position that is still something he is passionate about but allows us to stay in our Utah home. I would have loved taking you to the beach every day but we will still go on daily walks to the park and in the winters, you will get to experience snow. Your dad has promised to teach you to ski as soon as you master walking and language :) I look forward to the days when we go to the slopes as a family.

I can't believe we only have three more months to go. So much left to do....

Have fun incubating.

Love,

Mama

25 Week Bump!

And the latest baby bump

25 Week Stats

Baby Size: 13 inch boot? And 1.5 pounds

Mama Size: Up 15 pounds. For awhile there, I was gaining 2 pounds a week which gets a little mind-boggling. But maybe it's slowed down a little now. This week I definitely didn't feel like I was waking up to a new body every morning which is truly how it was feeling for awhile. I know this is probably just a slight reprieve but I'll take it!

Symptoms: Definitely feeling those braxton-hicks every day. They feel like menstrual cramps and they worry me a little but I don't think I am getting them more than 3-4 times an hour.

Funny symptom--can't work with my laptop balanced partially on my stomach like I usually do! Now it's squarely on my legs.

Also, the ever-present back pain. I can't always pop my back for some reason but when I can it feels so so good.

Other updates: I took a spin on my bike trainer this week and it felt awesome! When I walk or run, I get cramps in my uterus area and for awhile, I was so out of breath doing even the simplest things. When I bike, my core isn't as engaged so it softens the impact that running or walking would have. And somewhere along the way, I gained back (some) endurance and didn't have to stop every few minutes to rest. I'm hoping to alternate spinning with some arm weight lifting.

So I haven't had too many weird food issues but Peter thought it was strange that while I usually LOVE chips and salsa or anything spicy, I just haven't been into them while pregnant. Last night I had them for the first time in months and thought they were pretty meh. But at least I can eat them again without thinking gross! And my fruit craving seems to have subsided.

Question of the week: What did your baby sleep in as a newborn? We have a crib but the highest setting seems pretty low. Is it worth it to get a bassinet or could we get away with a moses basket?

25 Weeks

Dear Baby,

Only 15 more weeks to go. We are so excited to meet you. I have started to feel you move a lot more this week and can feel you in two places at once sometimes. You move around more when I lay down in bed or when either your dad or I am talking.

I think you are able to hear more clearly now so maybe this means I should turn off the eminem and turn up the bach....

I keep thinking about next Christmas and how we'll have a 9 month old crawling around. We went up to my parent's ranch up in Idaho last weekend. I wonder if next Christmas you'll like watching their horses run or if you'll be toddling in the snow or if you'll be playing with the dogs.

But first you need to incubate for another three months!

Love,

Mama

24 Week Stats

Baby Size: Still a football but apparently weighs around a pound.

Mama Size: Which means that I can only attribute 1 of the 14 pounds I've gained to baby. Lovely :)

Symptoms: Round ligament pain but maybe they were mild contractions? My ob told me that I should begin feeling some soon, if not already. How do contractions differ from RLP? When I was having some pain, it felt like a mixture between a muscle cramp in my lower ab area and menstrual cramps. I have noticed other changes that I really shouldn't care about because hooray, baby is healthy, but honestly why does fat have to grow everywhere and in the most unexpected places....

Other updates: Apparently baby is viable now? My websites are telling me 26 weeks but the dr said 24. Hmm...if not this week then soon! Also I passed my glucose test whoohoo. But I have to take it again at 32 weeks :( I thought I was home free but I guess this means I'd better put away the christmas candy and break out the cottage cheese and beans.

Question of the week: Well, my work is officially throwing me a shower in February. Yay for sweet coworkers. I will take all of your great advice and just feel spoiled and lucky. So now the question is whether or where I should register? Also, are there any registries that allow you to register for books? We would love to add to our collection and that is the one guilt-free present that I think is always appropriate for a child. Plus I work for the education office.....and I need to prove that I am not some math heathen that they all think I am. Seriously, it's a sad day when I'm known as the stats guru.

24 Weeks

Dear Baby,
I know our life will change dramatically when you get here, but there are so many changes that have happened because you are coming. For example, we went from eating out 3-4 times a week to 2 times a month. That is a pretty huge change for DINKS like us.
While part of me wishes that conceiving you hadn't been so hard, I am so glad we had 2, well almost 5, years of being a childless couple. It took two years of experimenting with how best to cook dinner to realize that what works for us is strategically alternating cook nights. It took two years of trial and error to work out a budget and we're still refining what we do. Those are really simple things that we might have to revisit once you get here, but at least we've gone through the headache of discarding options that don't work.
The irony is that we're not really saving that much money by eating in but mostly because our food budget has had to accommodate more fruits and veggies which is a very good thing. Plus spending time in the kitchen is a nice way to unwind from work together.
I got to hear you again today at the doctor. Your heartbeat was so loud that I think it startled you awake because you began to furiously kick as soon as those whoosh-whoosh sounds appeared. It is pretty funny that you frightened yourself.
As always,
Love,
Mama

23 Week Stats

Baby Size: Apparently she will remain football sized for a few weeks

Mama Size: Up 12 pounds. Noticeable bump now and I think a noticeable behind but Peter assures me he likes it. He prefers to gloss over whether it has actually grown or not.

Symptoms: HALLELUJAH my butt pain is gone. It felt so wrong buying expensive shoes that were ugly but after I tried them on in Nordstrom's, I couldn't take them off. And then I went and bought another pair. They are amazing for easing pain and they are a great height--2 inches which is a little shorter than I like (I really just need to go tailor my pants) but tall enough to not tear up the hems of my pants.

As awesome as they are, if I walk too much then still, by the end of the day, I'm visibly waddling. So fun.

Other updates: Baby has now flown three times and has been on both coasts. I just pray that will be the last time I fly for at least a few more years. At least with these flights, she has been trapped within a soundproof and escape-proof padded cell.

Question of the week: My visiting teachers want to to throw me a baby shower in March. My work has hinted at one and I'm sure my family will want to do something. There's no graceful way to consolidate them, is there. This is complete white (yellow?) guilt but I feel bad accepting presents when we truly don't need anything and so many people do. And miss manners says one must NEVER suggest people make donations to a charity instead since that implies we'd be expecting gifts. First world problems are hard.

23 Weeks

Dear Baby,
Last night your dad was singing some silly song and after each line would tap on my belly like a drum. I haven't felt you kick that hard in a long time. I like to think that they were kicks in protest.
Love,

Mama

22 Week Stats

Baby Size: Football!

Mama Size: Up 10 pounds. 20 more to go......

Symptoms: Deep hip/back pain. My massage therapist suggested I buy two tennis balls and just mash them into my butt, so I'll be trying that next. I am about to break down and buy these

Slightly better than crocs I guess.

Other updates: I get horrible heartburn and indigestion late at night and I never seem to remember that when I'm eating dinner. My plan is to eat half or quarter dinners from now on. Maybe experiment with eating three dinners all spaced out.

Question of the week: What shoes did you wear while pregnant? I need something with a bit of a heel b/c my work pants and jeans are all ~30 inches long and I'm really a 28 I think.

22 Weeks

Dear Baby,
I have been on an organizing kick recently and I'm not sure whether this is "nesting" or simply being fed up with having messy closets.
You are not kicking as hard as you once were--either that or I have grown yet another layer of fat. I am wearing my old jeans today because despite how comfortable maternity jeans are, I feel better in my regular clothes. Anyways, wearing them reminds me that they must be restrictive to you since you tend to kick me more.
I would like to reclaim my body back and yes, I'm aware that I have 18 weeks to go and that it only goes downhill from here so it's rather terrifying to already be wishing for something that I won't see for another year. I went in for a prenatal massage last night and sadly, it did nothing for my deep hip pain. I remind myself that I'd rather take my constant pain for the next 4 months than to not have you. I was reading about a celebrity who had a miscarriage at 6 months and I thought how much I can't take our good health for granted.
Until next week,
Love,
Mama

21 Week Stats

Baby Size: Beer bottle! Guess that's better than wine bottle

Mama Size: Up 9 pounds from pre-pregnancy. Before pregnancy, I used to love the mornings because I would feel so thin from having not eaten for >12 hours straight. Now I wake up feeling bloated. It's so strange that for 9 months, your entire way of thinking about your body just flies out the window. I told Peter that it's like, imagine for 9 months you change your race. Most mornings, at least for awhile, you'd wake up to, hey oh yeah I'm Tongan! It's just strange

Symptoms: Lansinoh is now my best friend. Or should I say breast friend? Also, I swear if I can't breast feed, my humps will literally be on the chopping block. No one should ever find out that they run out of alphabet letters after you reach a certain size

Other updates: Miracle of miracles--the two maternity pants I bought FIT! I would buy two more pairs but I got spoiled by only paying ~20 dollars for each and now I can't remember what the Gap deal was at the time. They are only on sale for ~60 now. On the other hand, having felt how comfortable they are, it might be worthwhile to think of their lifelong use....

Question of the week: What unexpected body changes happened during your pregnancy? Also why oh why are my nipples changing colors? No. Me. Gusta.

21 Weeks

Dear Baby,

I was too full--or lazy--to blog yesterday. Thanksgiving is a very indulgent holiday. Luckily my new maternity pants came in the mail today. Also, if I sit on the couch just right, I can begin to balance food on my stomach.

Love,

(Your ever-growing) Mama

20 Week Stats

Baby Size: 10 inches from head to toe. Needless to say the pictures are scaring me

Mama Size: Up 7 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight! Although yesterday at my 20 week check-up, it showed that I had gained 7 pounds in four weeks, but it was all water weight from flying that disappeared later in the day. Other than my stomach and chest, the rest of me is still the same. I am still wearing my regular pants although some of the smaller ones remain unbuttoned. My chest is making me miserable and I predict that new bras will make up the bulk of my new clothes budget :( At what point do you give in and just start buying nursing bras?

Symptoms: Feeling lots of movement from the little girl. I watch my stomach just dance and dance as I lay in bed at night. My joint pain flares up if I walk for extended periods of time so I'm feeling pretty unhappy about my overall health right now. Peter set up my bike trainer which is awesome--that should allow me to get in enough exercise a day.

Other updates: We are about to start painting the nursery. I was thinking yellow for a long time but then I saw the prettiest picture of a nursery done in a soft grey with a white stenciled mural on all walls. It was very light and soothing. Also, I registered for a childbirth class and a breastfeeding class which are conveniently located at the hospital where I'll be delivering. It's yet another reason why I want to be in shape--there is no way I'll have the endurance for birth otherwise.

Question of the week: Well besides my nursing bra question. Where did you find maternity jeans? Jeans are already the WORST things to shop for and I'm not looking forward to having to shop for maternity ones.

20 Weeks

Dear Baby,
Halfway mark! At least, let's hope so. I have a feeling you will stick around inside long after April 5 has come and gone.

You are kicking up a STORM and much to your daddy's delight, your favorite place to kick me is in the bladder. This causes my body to send me these rapid fire signals of "HURRY UP AND GO TO THE BATHROOM" to "Oh false alarm" to "WOW I REALLY NEED TO GO" to "haha sucker". He is proud of your trolling skills while in utero.

I flew you out to DC for yet another conference trip and in three weeks, we'll be flying out to LA. I decided that even though it is safe to fly until ~35 weeks, I am stopping after Christmas. It is so not worth it. See bladder comments above. Plus the jet lag. Plus the water retention. Plus the random bout of food poisoning that had me throwing up for 2 hours.

I am becoming more aware of your growing awareness. You can probably hear things now, taste the things I eat, sense light, respond to touches--or will develop those skills soon. I remember reading in grad school about fetal sensitivity to moods or hormones that accompany those moods. I want you to sense, even in the womb, that the world is a safe and secure place, that there is beauty everywhere. This means that I am stopping more frequently to calm myself down from work stress and meditating deeply at night which is good for all of us.

Love,
Mama

Growth

6 Weeks

19 Weeks!

19 Week Stats

Baby Size: Softball!

Mama Size: Up 5 pounds from pre-pregnancy!

Symptoms: As my coworker says, I'm growing a kangaroo pouch. Still feeling kicks and flutters especially right after I eat. Had a huge craving for a cheeseburger today, indulged it, and then afterwards decided to never eat red meat again :)

Other updates: Anatomy scan this week showed the baby was 8 ounces--so tiny still.

Question of the week: How soon would you travel with a newborn?

19 Weeks

Baby,

There was a forum thread that I was reading that asked whether new moms were more excited about having a baby rather than a person. I actually can't imagine you as a newborn--all I see in my head are sleep deprived night and days and dealing with a recovering body. Whenever I picture you, I see you as a toddler or as a child. Interestingly, never as an adolescent either. Maybe it's my brain's way of skipping ahead to the child ages I know best. Anyways, my answer to that forum was that I am most definitely more excited about discovering you as a person than dealing with a terrifying newborn that I have no idea how to handle.

I don't even like to hold babies, especially the ones that can't hold their heads up. You might be spending a lot of time on your dad's lap while he plays the latest video game because of my fear of the floppy head.

This has probably been my most random letter to you but as always, lots of love,

Mama

It's a......

So that picture is actually from my 15 1/2 week ultrasound but today at my 19 week appointment it was confirmed :)

At my earlier appointment, we got really clear pictures and the technician was great at capturing the cutest pictures. It was the first time that this pregnancy felt real, to both Peter and me. Even the ultrasound today wasn't as amazing although it was still very neat.

More importantly, everything looked healthy and all major organs and appendages were accounted for :)

21 more weeks until we get to meet her in person!

18 Week Stats

Baby Size: Electric shaver!



Mama Size: Up 4 pounds from pre-preggo. A few days ago I had a more noticeable bump below my belly button, but it's slowly risen so that now my torso is just rounder overall.

Symptoms: A little heartburn every now and then. Huge decrease in appetite so I feel like I'm eating "normally" again. Neck and shoulder pain, probably due to increasing weight they're carrying. I also stare suspiciously at my ankles but I'm pretty sure they are the same as ever.

Other updates: I have a little chest cold that's no fun and work has been unrelenting lately so I haven't been able to use my obscene amount of sick days. We met with our doula last night! She was very nice and has 9 children--yikes! She really helped us clarify what we wanted from our birth--basically, as little intervention as possible, but I'm not one of those no-epidural people. I will take it if I can't handle it. She persuaded me to sign up for a childbirth class because apparently they fill up really fast so we'll start those in a few months. I also registered for a breastfeeding class in March. The nice part is that they are all given at my hospital so it will give me a chance to get to know the childbirth center there. Oh and I also remembered that my FSA will pay for a breast pump, but the problem is I'd rather rent a hospital grade one than buy a less powerful one. But if I have too much in my FSA account, I might just go ahead and buy one anyways. This one http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=10812796 seems well reviewed.

Question of the week: What classes did you (or are going to) take before birth? Did they help?

18 Weeks

Dear Baby,
I find it hard to believe that we are almost at the half-way mark. Apparently most people still can't tell I'm pregnant but I can :) Not because of my stomach growing larger but because you are kicking and moving around every night. In fact, your dad has felt you two nights now! The first time this happened, we were sitting downstairs watching a movie and you kicked hard enough for me to feel you with my hand. Ordinarily, I can feel you inside, but not outside. I pulled your dad's hand over and we both started to laugh at how alien it felt. The next day he told me:
it didn't fully hit me until this morning

but feeling those little kicks was amazing

like really amazing

there is a little person inside you

I mean, that is just incredible

1:49 PM I'm getting kind of excited about it

That looks like a poem but it was really just an online chat :)

There is a video making its rounds on the internet of a family law judge getting angry at and beating his daughter while the mother looks on and encourages it. People are outraged and while I am too, it seems almost unfathomable to me. We already love you so much and feel so protective of you. On the other hand, I understand raising a child is so difficult at times, which is part of the reason I am writing you these weekly letters. I hope when times are tough, we can read these together and remind myself to be gentler, more loving, and kinder towards you.

Love,
Mama

Hi!

17 Week Stats

Baby Size: Hockey Puck! (Is it just me or did stud finder seem much freakier than hockey puck?)



Mama Size: I refuse to weigh myself until all my airplane bloat and salt retention has died down but I will say that this was the first time my pants had to remain unzipped, rather than zipped and unbuttoned. I also went maternity shopping with Peter and that was pretty unproductive.

Symptoms: (Maybe) Movement! My stomach has certainly grown and TMI alert, oh my gosh my boobs are unrelentingly swollen and tender. Google informed me that I am possibly making milk ducts already. It feels like pre-period all the time now and ironically, some of my shirts aren't fitting due to my chest rather than my stomach. I'm hoping this is one of those things that come in waves and will not be as painful in the next few days. Oh and heartburn and an accompanying decrease in appetite. Hooooooray for not having to eat 24/7!!!

Other updates: I went running for the first time in forever and was shocked that my heart gave out before my body did. I don't know if it's due to the pregnancy or if I'm simply out of shape, but no me gusta. I will try to work up to 3 miles again but it might be a 3 mile walk most days.

Question of the week: How much exercise did you get in while pregnant?

17 Weeks

Dear Baby,
I think all that ravenous hunger has made you grow because I finally have a noticeable bump. Either that or it's all doughnuts, pizzas, and cheeseburgers I've had in the past few days. You think I'm exaggerating but traveling=bad food choices.

I also could swear I've felt you move! About a week ago I noticed that when I would lay down at night, I'd feel these shakes in my torso and I thought it was my heart beating arrhythmically. Then on Monday night, I swear I felt some thumps! They were very very very light but I have never once felt my body (esp. below my belly button) do that before. Sadly, I've been on a horrendous conference travel schedule since then and haven't been able to stay awake at night long enough to settle down. Maybe this weekend it will start up again.

I have to admit that it was a very weird feeling. I guess I should finally come to terms that I have another living thing inside me :)
Love,
Mama

16 Week Stats

Baby Size: A stud finder!






Mama Size: Up two pounds from pre-preggo weight. I will upload a picture soon! I think I am carrying low. Peter finally turned to me this week and said, "You're PREGNANT?!" I was like....really? I guess it has started to sink in now that my stomach is growing.

Symptoms: Insomnia at 2-4am due to hunger pangs. I finally caught on and started to eat a snack right before bedtime, but for awhile I had no idea why my sleep was so disrupted. Quick poll: Peter thinks a banana with peanut butter spread on it is the weirdest combination ever and he thinks it's just the beginning of me eating weirdly. But I just was like, bang for my buck! Calories plus protein. Who is right :) (b/c isn't that what marriage is REALLY about?)

Also, today for lunch I had TEN chicken nuggets and a chili from Wendy's. I guess it wasn't the worst choice but I did send an apology towards the tiny parasite. Let's see....I think I am going to gradually take up running again even though I still get some pelvic and joint pain at night. Oh and I have felt like I was going to faint several times this week. Oh and the incessant peeing.

Other updates: Baby will be a traveler before even leaving the womb! I fly out to DC next week and Virginia mid November. While I am doing all this traveling, our house--well, basement--will be getting painted and carpeted which means I can finally move the guest bed downstairs and start working on the nursery. I am thinking birds and owls and yellows and whites.

Question of the week: When did you start to feel your first baby kick?

16 Weeks

Dear Baby,
I had my 16 week checkup today and got to hear you again and found out that we'll get to see you in three weeks! According to my doctor, I will have felt you kick and maybe my stomach will have grown a little by my next appointment at 20 weeks. I am shocked that I haven't gotten any larger since I eat everything I can and our weekly grocery trips have turned into tri-weekly trips. I go through fruit that fast! I am a little anxious about what will happen once winter comes. I guess a lot of canned fruit?
Till next week,
Mama

15 Week Stats

Baby Size: Baseball!


Mama Size: I am still only up one pound from when I got pregnant but I could swear I'm losing my waist. Maybe this is the week I start my ab work again!

Symptoms: Oh my gosh. I am hungry all the time. I wake up and feel faint. So I eat a normal breakfast--cheese and fruit. Two minutes later, my stomach growls. I drink water and it still growls. I eat every two hours and it still manages to scream FEED ME every chance it gets. I am running out of food ideas! I am on a strict high-protein low-carb diet from my doctor and it is so hard to think of filling snacky foods to eat right now. Ideas?

Other updates: I can feel my uterus! It's this hard muscle right below my belly button. At least I think it's my uterus; I can't imagine it's my rock hard abs that disappeared after high school shining through. Thankfully I still fit into all my clothes although I feel like a slob wearing loose tops every day.

Question: When does this insane hunger spell end? Is it just a growth spurt? Why did I eat three slices of pizza last night? Why does grease taste so much better than black beans??????

15 Weeks

Dear Baby,
Another edition of "Things I didn't know would happen during pregnancy"
1. That I would get wider before I got rounder. WHERE ARE MY SIDES? Your dad valiantly tries to reassure me that he can still see an hourglass shape but all I can think of are cylinders.
2. That I would have to feed you so often. No, I realize that once you're actually born that you will eat night and day...but I don't understand why my body thinks it's normal to eat a meal and still be hungry. And when I refuse to give in to such unreasonable demands, it plummets my energy levels with low blood sugar and general malaise. Tyranny
3. That I would be giving your father more back rubs than I'm receiving. Yeah we really need to work on that one.
Love,
Mama

14 Week Stats

Baby Size: Stress ball! (How can something this large be inside me? The size comparisons are really starting to freak me out)


Mama Size: Up two pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. And yes, most of that is the food baby that is growing alongside my actual baby, but come on! Pho season is upon us!

Pho aka asian crack












Symptoms: Crazy dreams. Tailbone pain has vanished whoohoo! Also, I am back to my energized and super happy self and it feels like night and day compared to where I was a few months ago.

Other updates: Peter is obsessed with the word meconium and keeps asking when the baby will start making it. Well according to the baby websites, it's beginning this week! Also, I just found out another friend of mine is expecting a month behind me which is really exciting! It's much more fun to go through this with friends.

Question for the readers: What was your greatest fear during pregnancy? Mine is that our child will have a mental disorder of some kind. It is highly unlikely, and even less likely since Peter and I come from pretty different genetic backgrounds (aka mutts are generally more healthy!) but you just never know. Some disorders aren't tied to genes anyways and some come through accidents in the environment (oxygen deprivation, car accidents). I just pray that we have a healthy child.

14 Weeks

Dear Baby,
I didn't think I was going to write a letter this week because, let's be honest, this is probably the most boring, symptom-free time of the pregnancy. Just as I was getting complacent, my body reminded me that I still get the really weird and vivid dreams that come along during pregnancy.
Last night I had a dream (this is also the opening line in a song in Rent, although I'm under strict orders from your father to 'please not indoctrinate them in the womb'). You and I were getting an ultrasound done and then, as clear as day, you were a boy! At first you were adorable and had the cutest almond shaped eyes but then, they began to move closer and closer together until you resembled a pig. I was horrified and so upset. I think that dream falls under the "i'm-not-a-bad-parent-but-i'm-possibly-a-bad-person" category. I wonder why parents worry about the attractiveness of their children?
Anyways, so I briefly woke up, stopped the freakout session, and then fell back asleep to have yet another dream. This time, you were still a baby boy and you slept throughout the entire dream. The problem this time was that your dad kept criticizing how I was swaddling you! Something he would never do in real life, mostly because he wouldn't know how to swaddle you himself :)
Bottom line: How can you be anything other than a boy at this point? The dreams have spoken!
Love,
Mama

13 Week Stats

Baby Size: Gas cap! (Yeah I know these are all weird and you can blame this guy but I agree--the fruit and vegetable comparisons are just much less interesting than gas caps!)



Mama Size: There is no tactful way to say this other than I am.....thickening. I am still only up a pound but in the mirror, my stomach, above my belly button, looks different. I would take a picture but I know no one will be able to see anything. Peter rolls his eyes.

Cravings: I think I am going to stop this header because I don't crave anything weird. Just fruit and water.

Symptoms: I think I've had to pee more often which is kind of weird since nothing is pushing down on my bladder yet. And my butt pain has subsided. I went to a physical therapist this week and that helped a lot. Peter got me a bike trainer for my birthday so even if I can't run, I should be able to bike and do yoga or pilates.

Other updates: This week we focused on getting our house finished so I really didn't do anything baby-related. My parents were here though so it was funny to think that by the time they move out here, their 14th grandchild will be here.

New!
Question for the readers: We go in to find out what gender we're having in 2 or 3 weeks. What do you think it is? I think boy.

13 Weeks

Dear Baby,
We are officially into the second trimester! And you are much more likely to be a sticky baby now. I hope you are healthy in there! I have firm expectations that you will be a chunky baby with an over-sized head for a looooong time but I am really trying to eat well for both of us.
You received some very sweet gifts this week. Your grandma gave us your father's old baby blanket and one-eyed teddy bear. I was never attached to an object as a kid but I see all your cousins carrying around blankets and I think maybe I was the abnormal child :)
Your other grandma taught me how to crochet. My first attempt was a rather ambitious grey elephant stuffed animal. Your dad thinks it looks like a shrew and ok, the nose did get a little out of hand.
We are having a party tonight with all of our childless friends and a get together Sunday morning with some neighbor couples and their dozen or so children. I guess we're starting to transition over.
Love you,
Mama

12 Week Stats

Baby Size: Small measuring tape!



Mama Size: Up a pound! And although I can see a bump, my ob wasn't too impressed.

Cravings: Maybe I should soon change this to aversions. The smell of Peter's steak and garlic mashed potatoes tonight had me gagging. Also, I can't handle jalapenos :( Not the heat, the flavor.

Symptoms: If it weren't for my protruding stomach, I don't think I'd even feel pregnant. Other than some small issues, I feel completely fine. I am very grateful for that.

Other updates: I'm so happy to be at 12 weeks and still pregnant. Oh and I found a secondhand stroller set and car seat that I love.

12 Weeks

Dear Baby,
Today I had my 12 week appointment with my doctor. I didn't get to see you but I heard your heart beating like a hummingbird.
Everything was normal. I think my doctor knows how much I love hearing that.
Love,
Mama

11 Week Stats

Baby Size: Golf Ball!



Mama Size: Lost all the "weight" (let's be honest=salt!) gain from my trip and am back down to normal. I have a small bump in the mornings now (not just at night anymore which is seriously so weird).

Cravings: That honeymoon second trimester feeling has already kicked in for me because my nausea and cravings are gone. I can eat anything! But I can't eat a lot of anything because for some reason my stomach feels like it has shrunk. I will eat a half sandwich and feel really full.

Symptoms: Feeling great! Feeling so great that I don't feel pregnant anymore :) Oh and still bleeding a little...every day for the past week. Seriously, this was supposed to be over for 9 months! Oh and also, I have stayed up past 10pm for the past two nights! Haha I didn't actually realize that was unusual until last night when I was shocked at the time

Other updates: When to tell work? What to tell work? When to stop working? I feel like the time is rapidly approaching for when I should tell my boss and I should give her the courtesy of knowing about it before it becomes obvious. The problem is I have no idea what I'm going to say other than, "I'm pregnant". I really don't know if I will quit my job or not, although I do know that I don't plan to keep working past the 6 month mark. I guess I will just tell her the truth and explain that until I know more facts (e.g., will our child even be suited for a short stint in daycare?) I won't know what I will be doing.

11 Weeks

Dear Baby,
Things I didn't know before I got pregnant:
1. The uterus starts to grow early on in pregnancy. I never thought about it but I always thought the reason women started to "show" early was due to poor abdominal muscles. I honestly thought that most women looked the same until the baby began to grow to like, 6 inches or so. I am nowhere near showing yet but my uterus is starting to make her appearance.
2. That I wouldn't be able to keep running or walking. Posterior pelvic pain=as much bed rest as possible. I haven't tried biking yet but I am thinking about buying a trainer or stationary bike very soon.
3. That I would have a "period" while pregnant. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GONE MOTHER NATURE!
4. To be continued.....Obviously this will not be a final list by any means
Love,
Mama

10 Week Stats

Baby Size: Hammer head!






Mama Size: So we ate a ton of fatty foods on our little excursion (buffet one day, chicken tenders another) and I can't tell what is uterus and what is fat :) Furthermore (probably due to all the sodium) I started to bloat like CRAZY at night. So after jumping the bones of all the fruits and veggies in my house, I think I can say that I've probably only gained about one or two inches in my stomach. Also I think I've gained a pound but I need to get back to my regular scheduled diet to really tell.

Cravings: Still fruit and now baby carrots. Some times veggies make me feel sick and some times I have to gag down some protein but that usually doesn't happen unless I haven't eaten a lot of fruit.

Symptoms: Pelvic pain still but nothing too worrisome. It goes away if I take it easy and wear flat shoes. Sigh. No Victoria Beckham pregnancy for me.

Other updates: That puking was either an anomaly or the pinnacle of my morning sickness because after that I've had barely any nausea ever. I am for sure very grateful for that. The tiredness has started to subside as long as I go to bed by 10. I am getting impatient for the next 6 weeks to fly by so that maybe we can see what gender this baby is! We went window shopping on our trip and I was surprised how many stores carry baby clothes. I had to keep repeating, white onesies, white onesies, because regardless of which gender this baby is, I want to get through the first 3 months in just onesies. Is this doable? Am I setting myself up to fail? :) I just think having the same bleachable outfit every day would make laundry easier..... Also, Peter keeps reminding me, babies are not dolls! It's just, it's so hard to remember that when Juicy sells tiny velour track suits or I see animal hats at Gap! I mean, look at these and tell me you don't just want to die from the cuteness

10 Weeks

Dear Baby,
Oh my, what a week. We unexpectedly got to see you again, due to my body deciding to start bleeding and cramping after doctor hours and right before your dad and I were about to go on a trip. We went to the hospital and for a few hours, really thought that we were losing you. Thankfully it was just some random occurrence and so we left for our trip with instructions to take it easy. You are so cute right now. You look like a tiny teddy graham; all head and tiny appendages. I felt like I was seeing a baby for the first time, despite all the ultrasounds we've seen so far.

You haven't felt very real to us yet but the force of our emotions after that experience made it clear that we know you are part of our life now. I think I got my first glimpse of how much your father will love you.

Kiss Hug,
Mama

9 Week Edit

Threw up three times this morning and want to go do the same thing now that it's lunch time. I think I jinxed myself....

9 Weeks Stats

Baby Size:
Marble!



Mama Size: Oddly enough I have lost weight, probably due to my no-candy rule and trying to eat as well as I can. The ONE time that I ate fast food gave me the worst worst worst night of my life. Never again! Also, my tummy is getting a definite pooch that stays with me all the time, so I know it's not just bloat.

Cravings: Most of my food is fruit and sandwiches

Symptoms: The one that's worrying me is tailbone pain. Yes, my coccyx hurts. I have a strange body. I haven't called my doctor yet but google seems to think it's nothing serious. I have it mostly when I walk a lot or sit a lot. Also, nausea has let up and I know I'm super lucky for that. Still low energy and it totally shows in my house right now.

Other updates: Briefly looked at diaper bags this week and can't stand the in-fashion styles. Petunia Pickle Bottom, I'm looking at you! I think I will just get a roomy purse instead. Also, my doula specializes in hypnobirthing and my homework assignment was to research labor/delivery methods and which one I want. Am really unsure of where to start

9 Weeks

Dear Baby,
I was right about my perception of time. It has begun to speed up again and I am sitting here, surprised that it's time to write you another post.
I keep thinking about September next year. By then, you'll be out of your "fourth" trimester. I know the first three months after you're born will feel like a dazed dream due to poor sleep quality but surely, surely by September we'll see you giggling and fatter and ready to endure mama poking you into Halloween costume after costume. I am thinking a woolly lamb....
I am truly lucky to have had such an easy pregnancy so far. I went through a few weeks (days?) where I had nausea all day. I still always feel sickly at night but nothing major. Really, eating something almost always helps. Hmm...you must be just like your parents! We never say no to food!
I think we are going to start telling the rest of our family about you this week. You have two MORE cousins (well, twice removed? Offspring of your dad's cousins) coming a month before you do. Holidays are going to be really fun in a few years.
Off to go eat some more food
Love,
Mama

8 Week Stats

Baby size:


Quarter!

Mama size: Haven't gained any weight but definite little pooch that never goes away. Am beginning to wear looser clothes at work just in case

Cravings: Bland food and any combo of carbs and dairy. Meat is ok occasionally but I never voluntarily want it. Got the go-ahead to eat sugar as long as I pack in the protein. I'm at a greater-than-usual risk for gestational diabetes so I need to really watch refined anything

Symptoms: Still tired and nauseous throughout the day. I have learned that getting in a run after work is impossible due to my general malaise so I'm now running in the mornings. Also, it is possible that my face looks clearer but the "glow" might just be my imagination.

Other updates: Heartbeat at 140 bpm! Booked a doula for April. Starting to research car seats but wow, is it overwhelming! Wanting to buy some bumgenius diapers but longingly looking at the little g diapers. Did not think a baby's butt could get any cuter! Made a pact with myself to only buy the following pre-baby: car seat, diapers, pump (maybe). I think anything else will come as needed. I already have a crib from when my nephew was born, a glider handed down from my sister in law, and don't really want to buy a stroller/playpen/swing/high priced items if they're not necessary. I think I'll splurge on a cute outfit once we find out the gender and I have to admit that there are some adorable animal hats on etsy right now. But a tiny baby just won't care whether s/he is in the latest from Carter's or not :)

8 Weeks

Dear Baby,
I had my 8 week checkup with the doctor today which means I got to see and hear you again. Your heart was fluttering on the screen and you were moving around the slightest bit. The doctor kept gushing over how healthy and cute you are and I sheepishly had to ask her which end was your head. I can't wait to see you more clearly in another month.

I am having some vivid boy dreams but feel sometimes that you're a girl. 8 more weeks and we might get to find out. I admit that while I love dressing up little girls, boys usually make me laugh harder. It really is true--we just want a healthy 10-fingered, 10-toed baby.

I think about the things that I want to teach you. Things like selflessness, charity, love for the less fortunate. Things like how to get along with others and how to make friends. I want to teach you to listen to your conscience and how to figure out your own moral compass. And we know you wouldn't be your father (or grandfathers') child without a large dose of financial sense.

I know you will get a solid academic education and if you are anything like me, you'll be reading everything you can get your hands on. So, I don't worry about schooling. I find it immensely more important that you have a great character education. Because neither Daddy nor I can teach you everything about being good (after all, that would mean WE have it figured out), luckily there are tons of people who love you and can pick up our slack.

You have both sets of grandparents who will teach you a love of work and play and what it means to be loved to the point of spoilage. You have cousins who will no doubt lead you into semi-dangerous but exhilarating adventures. You have neighbors who will show you how to be good-hearted to everyone. You will meet friends and strangers and teachers and siblings (hopefully) and I think that's what it comes down to. Community. My mother's wish for you is to be surrounded by a community that is safe and loving. I hope you will have that.

Love love love,
Mama

7 Weeks Stats

Baby Size: TV Remote power button!


Mama Size: Huge boobs (sorry fam!) and a bit of bloating. Couldn't button my skinniest pants but they still fit my legs and butt.

Cravings: Fruit fruit fruit fruit! Beginning to get turned off by other foods. Can tolerate salty carbs but trying to avoid them to bring down the bloat.

Symptoms: So tired...I try to stay up until 9 but usually conk out around 8:30. Wake up at 7 and get sleepy mid-morning and mid-afternoon. Nauseous throughout the day but usually only feel like vomiting at night. Haven't puked yet! I hardly ever throw up though.

Other updates: I'm feeling a bit detached because it seems hard to believe that anything is in there. The blob on the ultrasound does NOT look like a baby :) Excited for my next ultrasound in a week!

7 Weeks

Dear Baby,
You have 17 cousins, 9 girls and 8 boys. Your latest cousin was born this week, early Wednesday morning. I just realized that you two will only be 8 months apart, which seems like a huge gap right now but will shrink as you grow older. I didn't have any cousins near me while I was growing up and love the fact that you will have hordes to play with.

As I held my sweet day-old nephew, I thought about how one day, I'll get to hold you as well. He was so tiny, even at almost 8 pounds. However, the first time I saw you, you were 5 millimeters long so I guess tiny is relative. Apparently by the time I see you next week, you'll be 10 mm! You'll have doubled in size which is just simply amazing.

You gave us a scare last week because I started to bleed and cramp and my poor doctor has to deal with a combination of both a first time and a reproductively challenged mother. She was kind enough to schedule an early ultrasound and so I got to see the first flutters of your heartbeat. Truthfully I couldn't tell what, if anything, was moving, but the technician pointed it out and measured you at 111 beats per minute. Pretty good for a 6 week old.

We are halfway through the first trimester now! Slow but steady
Love,
Mama

6 Week Stats

Baby size: Nut

Mama size: Same as pre-pregnancy, but will bloat at night
Cravings: Hunger pangs have subsided. Crave watermelon and all Korean food
Symptoms: MOOD SWINGS! Peter still thinks it's hilarious because we've determined that they usually come when I'm low blood sugary. Until I eat, I will loudly proclaim my hatred for everything. Slight brown spotting that freaks me out every time. Fatigue--can't wake up properly in the morning. Combine that with my caffeine abstinence and you have one tired girl.
Other updates: I had a dream that the baby came out a blond, funny, friendly little boy. I had another dream that the ultrasound technician said, "Oh my gosh, there are the ovaries!!!" So....weirdly enough, the latter dream was the more realistic one.

6 Weeks

Dear Baby,
It feels like we've achieved a huge milestone--6 weeks and as far as I can tell, you're in there safe and sound. I sincerely hope that my perception of time during this pregnancy will follow a bell curve--slowly at first, then sped up, and I'm sure it will go slowly again towards the end. We are just so excited to meet you.
I had no clue about Korean pregnancy customs, but have had fun researching them. Apparently, to ensure your beauty I must only eat unblemished, whole, beautiful things. So crab=out while perfect fruit=in. Also, after giving birth, I am to drink tons of seaweed soup. The jury is still out over whether I'll actually do that one.
Traditionally, Korean moms-to-be do not exercise at all during pregnancy and do not shower for a month after giving birth (ugh). In fact, for the first 100 days of the child's life, neither mother nor child leave the house. I am pretty sure that I will be able to do that last one. Already I can feel myself rooting with this home and my family.
I pray all the time to God to keep you safe inside me. In two weeks, we will get to hear your tiny heartbeat and maybe then I'll be able to start to make plans for bringing you home.
Love,
Mama

5 week stats

Baby size: BB pellet
Mama size: Same as pre-pregnancy
Cravings: Water and food in general. I'm starving all day long
Symptoms: Peeing constantly, larger boobs (ugh!), and surprisingly, anger! When I am stressed and am hungry, instead of just getting irritable I actually get really mad. Thankfully, I recognize it but poor, poor Peter. He laughs it off now but good grief I don't know if a saint could take 8 more months of this.
Other updates: We went in for a 5 week ultrasound and at this stage, the only thing we could see was a little dark yolk sac on the screen. We will now be released from our fertility doctor and I will start to see my regular ob. She and I have our first appointment at my 8 week mark.

5 weeks

Dear Baby,
You are 5 weeks old as of yesterday and we still can't believe that this isn't just a dream. According to the doctor, you are almost 5 mm large which is both unbelievably small and large, considering that you were only two cells large three weeks ago.

The morning that I took my pregnancy test, I was burdened with the sense of performing a familiar task with an inevitable outcome--negative. Always negative. We tried for so long to bring you into our life and although the scars from that experience are still deep, it is amazing how two lines can bring on voluntary amnesia. After I took the test in the bathroom, I set it flat, just like the instructions illustrated and then went back to bed and tried to count to 180 seconds. I got to about 80 when I gave up and went back to the bathroom. Two lines, clear as day.

I immediately went into a semi state of shock. I grabbed the test and ran back to bed to shake your father awake. I was crying and could hardly get the words out but managed to get through his deep non-conscious dream state. He patted my stomach and mumbled something about smelling pee and smiled....and then fell back asleep.

After he really woke up, we both went through similar emotions. Disbelief, fearfulness, overwhelming joy, relief, worry. And now, a week later, I would say that we're still feeling those emotions even if they've died down a little.

Larger than all of those emotions, however, is love. Although at times you don't feel very real, we love you with the wholeness of our hearts. We can't wait to be with you

Love,
Mama